Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
