You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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