Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
