Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
