when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
