I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize