Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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