PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
