Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
