pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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