this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
