i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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