dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
