I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
