He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
