i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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