she was so not down for the gang bang
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
