Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
