Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
