Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
