dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
