"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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