I'm drive I can fine osifer
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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