I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
