So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
