You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
