There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
