the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
A+ Viking dick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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