Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
