I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
