Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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