I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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