so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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