I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
