You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
