And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
