Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
