I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I could fuck to npr.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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