i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
