I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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