i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
