its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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