So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
