I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
