so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
