how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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