k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't put those talents on a resume
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
