worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
