This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
