you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize