i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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