david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
