direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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