love makes seman taste better
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
