You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize