I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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