K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
