I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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