i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I am naked and annoyed.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize