She's JV to your varsity
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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