He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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