No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
