2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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