how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
