You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
