I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
