This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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