It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
