pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
