Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
