Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize